Oh-la queen *****
Now playing: Wild Cookie by Jill Scott
Thank you for making it this far. I am the P***y Patrol, the chair of the Coochie Commission. And I am here with a message from your vagina.
You’re probably confused, but hold on a moment! You need to hear these things from me, as I am the mouthpiece of the mound
Before I bore you to death, here are 3 things your vagina is protesting against; heed, and do better.
1) Feeling ashamed to say the word! We’re all for nicknames, but no hiding behind them. va-gi-na; a word. Not a dirty word, not a word you have to say in low tones. Just a vagina, or whatever the fuck you like to call it.
2) Letting random things in (check also; men). Whatever you’re sticking inside yourself should be germ-free, hazard-free, and utterly worth it. A tad bit difficult given the scarcity of sanity, but doable. All you need to is stay clear off these raggedy n***as and put things where they belong.
3) Forgetting that you deserve the princess treatment. Don’t hurt your body, lady. Please rely on biology and mild soaps for hygiene, not hot water baths or some magic concoction from an old wives fable. Natural antioxidants like grapes and tiger nuts are your best friends; don’t forget pineapples too! Act as your body requires, and don’t spare on the self-love; we hear clockwise motions are reliable.
Adios now, comrades! Into the streets!